Thoughts

Please let me know your thoughts/comments/critiques on the manuscript in the comments section of this post.

I know that you only had a small amount of text to review but your thoughts are appreciated.

Manuscript

I know I said I wasn't going to start on the manuscript until I had the whole story mapped out and I do, mostly. I started on it anyway and got about five pages of draft done over the last couple of days along with some good editing. Yuisa and I went over the manuscript so far yesterday evening and she had some good comments.

If you would like a sample of the manuscript (those of you who have requested my work in the past) I will happily e-mail the work out to you.

THE ROAN MARSHES

Once residents of the lush grasslands, the Roan tribe fled to the marshes during the occupation. The Roan, formerly farmers, adapted quickly to their new home and, along with the Ebresh, were a powerful fighting force against the occupation. The mists which cloud the marshes conceal the Roan’s submersible homes which float just beneath the surface of the black marsh water. Still, the marshes are more accessible than the Vinewall and battles erupt daily over the dark, reed-choked, waterways.

Notable denizens of the Roan Marshes:

Rake: The leathery winged rake, though slow and clumsy on land is a strong flier and an agile swimmer. Trained by the Roan as mounts, many a Roan aquanaut has been saved from the cluster missiles of an attacking Star Striker by a quick-diving rake.

THE VINEWALL

Myriad fast growing plants make up the Vinewall, a dark, near impenetrable jungle and home to the Ebresh. During the Great War many battles were fought in the Vinewall with the natural predators and diseases taking their toll on both armies (though with the help of the Ebresh the Eladii fared far better than the Shogar). Due to the resilience and rapid growth of the plant life, deforestation effects used during the war proved to be ineffective. Vegetation that was chemically or biologically destroyed replaced itself within days.

Notable residents of the Vinewall:

Tuntrox: Gigantic herbivores, the tuntrox is the species predominantly responsible for keeping the Vinewall from choking off all life in its verdant embrace. Tuntrox browse in large herds beneath the bows of the great trees and are the path makers of the forest. Legless, the tuntrox slither through the Vinewall stretching their immense bulk into the canopy where they feed. Tuntrox roam in extended family units usually led by an old bull. Newborn young are sometimes taken by tiger hawks and other large predators but an adult tuntrox has no natural enemies. They are a water loving species and family groups are often seen near rivers wallowing in the mire or swimming in the deeps.

Black Stinger: A peril to any forest dweller, black stingers swarm after the Vinewall’s frequent rain storms sucking the fluids from any creature unlucky enough to be caught in the writhing mass. Black stingers have no mouth parts but ingest all their food through the long stinger on their abdomen. They feed by constantly stinging their victim until all liquid has been removed from the body. On occasion the Ebresh have reported swarms large enough to overwhelm even the gigantic tuntrox.

Exodus

“The phenomenon known as the Great Conversion remains unprecedented in the history of the Empire. It is not known how the entire Eladii race became followers of Olo or how they managed to hide their presence from the vengeful Telek for millennia after their exodus. All scholars agree on one point however, the initial separation of the Eladii Nation from the Telek Confederacy was nothing if not bloody.

-Lida Sestono from Histories

Revelation

“When the word of Olo came to us we scoffed at first. But when we studied Olo’s ways our eyes were opened and we forsook our life of war.”

-Celic of House Rinn, Eladii Farwarden and First Speaker of Olo

Rebellion

"The Telek, the Shogar and the Eladii, these are the heads of the beast that devours uncounted realms. These are the names of the murderers that rape our world."

-Yur'tik, Hand of Yune from Desecration

The Triumvirate Complete

“How many did we kill? All of them. Everything. Nothing breathes on Odrion.”

-Freyak Gilganus, Shogar Heavy Infantry

War Eternal

“We met them at mouth of the Great Furnace. They were cruel and fierce, abominations from the lower planes, but we prevailed and drove them screaming into the Everburn.”

-Eliel of House Takavian, Eladii Dragoon

To Build an Empire

“During the conquest of Ledrim we jumped directly into their capital city. Not a single shot was fired. The war was over before it had begun.”

-Chief Navigator Roj Paval of the Telek Dreadnought Octus.

Searching the Darkness

“Our studies confirmed that each realm, though distinct in myriad ways from our own, is an exact copy in several respects, the first being that each plane supports only one life bearing planet.”

-Carlin Fordred Director of Interplanary Research, New Midoras, the Telek homeworld

In the Beginning

"Our universe of space we found empty. The planets spinning in the black, lifeless. Little did we know that we were surrounded by hidden worlds. Countless civilizations moved around us, invisible, unreachable. The invention of the jump drive laid bare the invisible. The unknown beckoned to us and we heeded the call. Thus the roots of the Telek Confederacy were planted."

-Gratio Hortianus from For the Greater Good

FIRST

This is the blog for the new manuscript.

I have been brain storming and outlining. I am not going to start on the actual manuscript until I have the entire thing mapped out.

One thing that writing CHOSEN taught me is that organization and understanding of the material is key. Which means I have been writing alot of backstory-timelines and character histories.

I'll post more once I get the information orgainzed and detailed.

I'm really excited about this project. The characters and setting are exciting and the relationships between characters should make the story worth reading.